Proof that people on Segways (Personal Transporters) Do not Get Laid
Have you ever wondered why people are attracted by the idea of riding around on Segways? I was. Recently, I ventured over to the Segway website and found a lot of pictures of people who apparently have zero trouble with their self esteem. Perhaps it says something about my personally but I wouldn't be caught dead on one of these things. Actually that would be hard to do, you have to be upright. It just seems to me that riding a Segway is the most unattractive thing to do on the planet. Here's an experiment: Picture some of the most beautiful people in the world. Claudia Schiffer, Gisele Bundchen. Monica Bellucci. Tom Selleck. Whatever floats your boat. Now picture them on a Segway. See what I mean? Brad Pitt? Brad Pitt on a Segway. Does it still do it for you? I think not. there's something about a human being riding on one of these things that strips away their coolness and renders them relatively asexual and devoid of all respect they might have once possessed. I guess it's something about people's posture or something but when I see a person riding around on a Segway, I'm thinking: that person is not getting laid tonight.
Here's another demonstration of my point. You meet an attractive person at a bar one night. You're hitting it off. You're flirting. Things are getting pretty hot and heavy after a few Margeritas. Then you go out in the parking lot and just as you're deliberating on who's place would be more appropriate for you to consummate your passion, you see their mode of transportation: a Segway. You cannot tell me that your attraction has not diminished in some way. There may be no logical explanation for it, I know. And perhaps it's just me, but when I think of Segway, I'm thinking "Not Good in Bed".
I realize in advance that this may deny me corporate sponsorship when Segway becomes the preferred mode of transport in the future. Everyone is on a Segway, riding around, acting cool but I'm still walking.
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